Pity Party

That's what I'm having right now. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm not able to feel positive about it all right now. There are so many things that need done, that are behind, and I can't catch up anytime soon! Today I finally broke down & cried. I'm so overwhelmed & I feel so tired. All I want to do is lie down & go to sleep, I guess to escape it all. We've had no free time these past few weeks and everything is piling up. I gained 2 lbs this week! 2 lbs despite the fact that I've been busy, busy. So busy that I haven't even had time to be on Facebook! I have 4 loads of laundry in baskets in my living room waiting to be folded & put up. That's not counting the load in the dryer, the 2 loads on the line, and the load in the washer. The house needs dusted, and cobwebs swept. I haven't touched my school in almost 2 weeks. This is why I'm STILL buying extensions because I don't stick to it daily & before i know weeks go by before I get back to it. I really want to just quit because it's so stressful knowing that it's there waiting for me & that we are paying for me to be able to finish it. I promised my husband that I would finish though and the idea of letting him down when he's been so patient about the whole thing is even more stressful. I have no idea how I will work even if I finish, but if I don't finish then all this money is definitely wasted. At least if I finish I'll have the certificate to be able to get a job at some point if I can or want to. I've lost motivation in it. I got so down on myself & about school when I was struggling so hard with the English classes. I'm not one of those people who could just put in the right answers & get through it if I wasn't actually getting it. I can't keep any kind of schedule anymore. Not with my school work, with myself, with my 2 yr old, none of it. I'm here, there, everywhere & I know that's part of why I'm losing so much time during the day & things aren't getting done. I believe this is also why my son has started being such a whiny butt and brat because there's no scheduling for his eating, naps, playtime, it's too chaotic for him too. I try to have a schedule, but seems something always comes and interrupts it or I let it. I don't know. On top of that I'm trying to lose weight & that's always hard. The yard is over a month behind b/c of all the rain so it's taking forever. My plants that I bought are dying b/c they need to be planted. There is just so much to do & I can't figure out where to start or what's more important. All I want is to sit down, spend sometime with my husband, who I miss so much, relax, and enjoy life a little rather than rushing through it all day until I crash in bed. Need to put this pity party to rest, at least for now, and try to get something done, or else there will just be more to do later.