Wondering what will the future bring.....

I've been attending school online since last October, I'm more than halfway done now. Now that it's closer to the time when I will be looking for a job and life is going to take a big change. It has my mind thinking and thinking even though it's still months away and I have no idea who I'm going to work for or what I'm facing. I really wish I could turn it off, but I don't do well with the unknown. I'm such a planner. It's not helping that getting a job is supposed to give you more money right? except that as soon as I start working we will lose our reduced lunch for the kids taking a $150/mo out of my potential income. I'll be self-employed so I'll have to take at least 10% out to save for my taxes at the end of the year. We may lose the kids having the medical card, we will definitely lose it for Bryan which means we have to add him to our insurance. That can only be done in the fall so I either have to do it this fall before i'm working and hope I get a job soon or wait until next fall and he'll have no insurance until next fall if I get a job. That is going to cost us another $150/mo out of my potential income. I may have to put Bryan in full time care, even though I'm working from home. This kind of job I have only so much time to get my work done and return it so I need to be sure I can get it done on time and I can't guarantee that with him home. So there's more cost in the fees & gas. Plus I'm having issues with the whole working from home but sending him to day care! Isn't that the point of working from home? I'm going to try to just send him to a part time preschool to modify the time away from home, gas and fees, but that will only work if I can work when he is home. So with all of this it seems as if I'll be working for no extra money at all. I've been wondering if it's worth it. Working again is going to add a lot of stress to my life specifically. I'll have to work 20-30 hrs a week plus run to appts and practices and games and clean and try to have some fun with my family. I know tons of people do this every day, that's what I keep telling myself that they do it and manage just fine. I just have a hard time seeing it b/c without working I have a hard time getting it all done. There are literally nights that from 3:30 to 9 or 10 I've done nothing but run this kid or that kid. I can't count on Travis b/c his work he has to pull a lot of overtime and it's not always planned. There are many times where he texts me to let me know he has to stay over and he doesn't know for how long. Where he'll work a 12- 15 hr day or more sometimes. I also keep reminding myself that as I get better at my job I'll make more an hour so eventually I'll be bringing home the extra income. I need to work b/c in 3 short years I'll have the first one going off to college, the year after that another one in college, 2 yrs later another one. We will really need my income during that time to help the kids with college. We want to move to a bigger house but we can't do that without some money saved for a down payment. Somehow I've got to put this to the back burner, concentrate on what I can do today and believe that it will all work out when the time comes.