I'm in an unusual place right now. In my own world of chaos for me. For once I have no plan and no ideas on a plan on how to get everything done that I need to get done. Usually I can figure out the best way to do things pretty quickly when things change but this last time has thrown me for a loop. I'm feeling lost, stressed, worried, so much to do and not sure how to do it all. My sleep is screwed up, I'm depressed, and feeling insane sometimes in my own head. My husband recently went to 2nd shift & summer started & my kids are going to their dads every other week. The list of my responsibilities is so long usually but with my husband on 2nd shift it grows. I have school that has to be finished by Oct, I have the house, the bills, the scheduling of all the family events & appts, but with hubby on 2nd the running of the kids becomes all mine and so does the yard work. Wow when I write it out it doesn't seem like so much. I know it is though when I look at my calendar and see that most days of the summer have some kind of practice, game, appt, or gathering to go to. It's not leaving a lot of time for relaxing, enjoying life, or being a couple with my husband. With him on second shift it is even harder b/c my life is on a 5 am to 11 pm schedule and his life is on an 8 am to 1 am schedule. I am a full time at home mom, this house & yard & family are my life with occasional trips to a bigger world outside of it. Keeping the house, the yard, and taking care of the family is very important to me especially with it being my main world. I feel like the servant no one can live without. Everyone needs me to keep things in order, get them where they need to go, make their appointments and never forget anything, always figure out where the money can be found for whatever they need. Yet I feel invisible because it seems no one recognizes how much I do or when I get a lot done. The hubby says nothing whether the kitchen counter is completely covered in dirty dishes or if it's spotless with everything done. Him and the kids don't seem to care if the house is clean. I realize that they wouldn't care as much as I do b/c I am in here 24/7 sometimes for weeks at a time, but can't they care a little bit? Or at least notice when I make a big cleaning change in the house? I know that I notice when they do things to help out. I feel like i"m not worth much to the world outside of my house. I have very little to talk about except with the family or maybe the dogs. No one ever calls me to just chat. I've tried to reach out to others even willing to drive up to an hour to hang out with others and yet I never hear anything from anyone. I will call, email, try but honestly after I try a few times and then I give up. I don't see why I have to be the one to do all the calling, or the one to do all the suggesting we get together etc and since no one offers I feel like they obviously don't care too much about getting together with me so I give up. All of this makes it even harder on me since I am a social person. Somehow I have to find a way to deal with all of this.